The Flatlander's Curse

It's rare to hear of more than a few deaths from tornado outbreaks, but a large swath of the south has been devastated by twisters, and the death toll is at 200.

Keeping in mind that the recent storm outbreak from Texas through Virgina has been deadly, video we are seeing also indicates that some of the tornadoes have been just about perfect. Thanks to this brave soul in a mall parking lot, you can even hear the "freight train" that everyone always talks about.

Hundreds dead is hundreds too many, but sometimes the toll does not need to be that large for tornadoes to take on a mythic quality. The 1991 Plainfield tornado claimed 25, but also leveled a high school and a church, as if the storm felt the need to leave an extra sinister mark on Chicago history. And then there is the story of the tavern patrons in Utica in 2004, who did everything right and hid in the basement when the warnings came. But the old building around them collapsed, and six died.

Along with the endless sky, enormous pragmatism is a mark of a Middle Westerner, and we are getting pretty good at reducing the number of deaths from tornadoes here in the great center of America. It helps that our weather is pragmatic, too. A prairie storm is as obvious as Godzilla on the horizon, and it moves through fast. We don't have to escape up the coast, or close our business for three days, and the storm leaves us the rest of a dry and often sunny day.

I have always said that I like living where the land is flat because I can see my weather coming, and today I feel that more than ever. While only the gods and the ions in the air really know if the scary clouds you are watching in the west will convene and swirl and turn into a tornado, it all unfolds in front of you, giving you plenty of time to react. From April through October, every flatlander should be at least moderately aware of where one can seek shelter should the need arise. For example, the basement at Macy's at Oak Brook Center mall is really secure -- I've been herded down there by store management twice myself.

The great irony for weather geeks in the Chicago area is that this is the weekend of famous forecaster Tom Skilling's legendary Severe Weather Seminar at Fermilab, a multi-hour extravaganza of bow echoes, lightning injuries and vorticity. You have sympathy for those who make their living when the weather turns evil: you know they don't want people to get hurt and property to be damaged, but their evident excitement at killer weather can't be contained.